The Plumb Line: All Things in Common

As I sit in the Tampa airport waiting for the boarding call for the flight back home, the events of the past few days fill my mind and my heart, but how do I articulate it? How do I put it all into words that would even make sense to anyone other than me? It's certainly not an easy task, even for one who seems to never be at a loss for words. It's very strange to learn later on in life that you have real family—people who share the same DNA, some of the same features, and even some of the same personality quirks. No one can ever tell me that personalities and behavior tendencies aren't at least somewhat inherited.

I remember as my adopted brother (Danny) grew up. We were raised the same, in the same environment by the same parents and yet we were as different as night and day. There was no commonality between us.

Now, as I get to know my biological brother (Tom) better in his own environment, I see more commonality between us than I did with my adopted brother. It's strange – we were separated when I was nearly 21 months old and he was 6 months old. But, there are similarities that surely aren't merely coincidental. We look very much alike in some ways, and yet we are very much different. Our children even have some commonalities; not only in physical features, but in personality and challenges they've faced in life.

I had the awesome pleasure of meeting my nephew—this is the first time I've met a true nephew as opposed to a nephew-in-law. As I looked at Josh the first time, my heart melted. I felt almost as if he was my own son and it felt as if the feeling was mutual. He hugged, he was genuinely thrilled to learn he had more family. While we were eating dinner, Dana called and she had a chance to talk to him and my own children are thrilled to know they have cousins on my side of the family. All these years, everything has been all about Ron's family because they were all connected by blood. My own family has basically forgotten I exist because I was "just adopted" inferring that I had no true connection to the family. But now there IS a true connection to Joshua McCauley. Some day I hope to meet my niece, Heather McCauley and reach out to a young woman who somehow I feel like belongs to me although I've never met her.

It's all very strange—I know I keep saying that, but there's no other words to describe the feeling. After all, if your family hasn't been touched by adoption, you probably have a hard time comprehending the strange feeling of finally finding people who share the same features—the same bump on the nose, the same eyes, the same creases in the ears, the same thickness around the middle with thin legs, the same prematurely gray hair, etc.

Being raised in an adopted family, I longed to hear the words most adults speak about children: "My! How Janet looks like you!" Other cousins looked like their parents. But I didn't—there wasn't an iota of commonality. My mother was tall and thin and fair-skinned with light hair. My dad was tall and perhaps a little stocky as he grew older, but had the distinct features of the Bosch family. They were both very attractive people. But there I was, short, stocky, black hair, hairy, clumsy, and desperately wanting to feel like I belonged. I was so different!

So, needless to say, these past few days have been another eye-opener for me. Actually, I was seeing eye-to-eye with my own eyes in both Tom and Joshua. Many people commented on how much we look alike although I have to admit that didn't totally thrill me except for the fact that there was someone who looked like me for the first time in my life. But Josh…he looks like Debbie, he's built like Debbie—they share a lot of same features more than the other two. His life has been a lot like Andrew's including his original fascination with architecture and drafting. Coincidence? I really don't think so!

This all makes me think about the family of God. How much commonality is there between us. I mean, really. Think about it! Do our brothers and sisters in other denominations or even in other nations bear a "family" resemblance? Can you see in them what can be seen in them? Are our similarities more than just coincidental? What do we have in common with each other? Do we even look for a common denominator in our Christian brothers and sisters? Do we look like our Father? How much do we look like our Father? How many of His characteristics can be seen in us? Are they obvious or does one have to really look for them?

Just as I noticed commonality with my brother in our personalities, I'm wondering how much of our unique personalities are reflective of our Father's. It's more than just the ears or the nose or even the toes that matters … it's the heart, the ways, the manners, the behavior that I want to point to my Father. We should welcome comments like, "Janet! You remind me of your Dad!" But I wonder if people really see Him in me? By birth in Terra Alta, West Virginia I'm a Stockwell. By adoption I'm a Bosch from Cleveland, Ohio. By marriage I'm a Ross living in Willard, Ohio. But the relationship that counts is my citizenship – I'm a daughter of the Most High God and my home is in Heaven!

Commonality … what do I have in common with my Father? How about you? What do you have in common with Him?